It is not unknown that the horror genre loves a good cliché- Alcohol and drug-fuelled parties in isolated locations (cabins are a plus), a female survivor or the fact that sex=death. We have all come to accept this as an integral part of the genre, but there are a few horror clichés that I just can’t get along with, no matter how many times they crop up. Here I will attempt to list a few that get me shaking my head in front of the screen…
1. Crap Cops
Why in every horror, especially the slasher kind, are the police force so utterly incapable? Normally taken out by the bad-guy as soon as they come to inspect the scene (see: The Collector), they do more harm than good. And another thing…I don’t know how true this is…But I thought officers were always meant to turn up in twos? Well this idea is clearly disregarded in a good horror flick as he examines the cabin/house/car park, alone, with armed with a torchlight and alarmingly bad training.
Of course this stereotype has been mocked in films like Scream, but it’s actually no laughing matter. The incompetence of those who are meant to be there to protect us leaves the viewer feeling in a very vulnerable state, there’s no one else to turn to but yourself to get out of this bloody mess. Would you be up to it? Probably not, and that’s terrifying. So maybe I could forgive this annoyance as it helps scare the shit outta us.
2. Not killing the killer
I’m not talking about Michael Myers here, or other supernatural antagonists that can’t be stopped… I’m talking about when your opponent is clearly flesh and blood and hell-bent on taking your life in a horrific way, and you get your chance to take him down but you give him one lousy hit over the head?! Or you shoot him anywhere that isn’t IN HIS FACE?! There is no excusing that stupidity and you clearly deserve to die. This is one thing that really grinds my gears. Ok ok, I know that it’s to help the plot keep going, otherwise the movie would just end there…But it’s not believable, ok?
3. Falling over NOTHING
Ok so the same IDIOTS that don’t kill the killer when they have the chance are also the same morons that manage to fall over flat ground. I mean, I haven’t fallen since I was 8 years old, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?! and why on earth do they take so long to get up?! Look where the hell you’re going. Maybe they have to do this because horror villains don’t run…And they have got to catch up somehow. (P.S these are the same geniuses that suggest the group ‘splits up’ when it’s far from what they should be doing)
4. Trying to bargain with the killer:
Ok, ok I’m sure that if I were strapped to a chair being tortured in the same situation I’d probably be begging for my life too- but it’s stupid and pointless.Just because you say “Why are you doing this!?” or even worse “You don’t need to do this!” it doesn’t mean Leatherface is gonna put down that chainsaw and think…Why AM I doing this?! and walk away. No, that’s not going to happen. Also when they lock you in a room, banging on the door screaming “let me out!!!” ain’t getting you nowhere fast either, so save your energy.
I hope you have enjoyed this short list, I’m definitely not done there so let me know what annoys you guys about horror movies and I’ll be sure to include them next time.